Go and have a nice quiet chat with your local pharmacist if you want to try new unknown pills, you will find her or him very understanding. I have built up a really good relationship with my local one and due to my lifestyle, I have over the years had to discuss all sorts of personal little problems with her. I am now able to discuss almost anything medical with her without being embarrassed and she has let me into all sorts of little tricks to help me to bend the gender line so to speak. So, I will let you into a special little secret about a product used for your little problem which has a double use. The product named Anusol which is marketed by Pfizer and is used extensively for soothing itching problems in the anal area. This is a mild zinc oxide based mild anaesthetic cream but, and here is the secret, it is also used to tighten up the facial skin and dramatically reduces the bags under the eyes and reduces the so called laughter lines. It absorbs quickly and is odourless.This is unfortunately short lived but it works fine on a night out if you have had a tiring day and need to look your absolute best. It works just like the expensive Boots product whose name escapes me at the moment and is twice the price.  Apparently, it shouldn’t be used too regularly on the face but won’t do any harm if used occasionally.

To diet or not to diet? I am fat. I like being fat. At least I thought I did… (fat is good because I am warm and curvy and people like to hug me. Also, I can sit comfortably on any type of surface for a long time without getting a sore arse.)… Perhaps I don’t! Perhaps I say I do because I’m too lazy to do anything about it… (thin is good because all clothes fit and the general consensus in society says that thin is healthy and beautiful.) Would I be happier thin? Maybe, but I’ve never been thin, so I wouldn’t know. It also seems rather hard work to find out. I can’t make everyone else think that fat is good, so perhaps it’s better to conform after all.

Losing weight is like stopping smoking. It will only really happen when YOU want it to and if YOU want to do it.

I care not a lot what anyone else thinks of me and my body. I only care about how happy I am and what I want to be. I feel you have 2 choices in life – either accept yourself for what you are or do something about it.

I have always said I suffer from annorexia. Every morning I get out of bed and look in the mirror and see a fat person! (Please, it was a joke – I know annorexia is a real problem – I was just making light of my own weight!)

There is a good book called “Stop the Insanity” by Susan Powter – It is annoying and condescending in parts but it talks about changing your lifestyle and attitudes which lead to weight loss. If anyone wishes to do something about their weight then I recommend you get hold of a copy and read it. What it will teach you about is normal dieting makes you fat because of the “Feast/Famine” routine.

I always say that I am fat because I eat to much. That is honesty! I also say that as long as my mouth is bigger than my arse I will always have trouble stopping weight going on. If I had to push all my dietry requirements into an orifice the size of my arse – I would lose weight!

Am I really fat – Well, not toooo fat. I am 5′9″ tall and weigh 13st 2lb butt naked this morning! I have a 42″ chest and a 36″ waist with a bit of a paunch above it. To me I am carrying excess weight of about 9 lb and I am losing it for my own health reasons. Wilma does not want me to lose too much and I have already lost 2 stone in the last 2 years. Rest assured I will never be thin – not whilst I have the willpower of a flip-flop and chocolate populates the shelves of my local supermarket or the fridge in the house!

Be what YOU want to be and be happy – life is too short.

I always practice safe sex and find that I get irritation and soreness for several days afterwards. I have attributed it to the use of condoms and although I have tried several different well known brands, I always find that it is the same result, whatever colour, flavour, texture they are.

Have any of you suffered anything similar to this? If so, which brand can be used without the unwanted side effects?

I have tried using the usual lubricants before sex, in the hope that it would protect my skin, but sadly it does not. It takes the enjoyment out of it a little, knowing that you wil be sore afterwards.

Most condoms are made of latex and quite a few women are sensitive to it in the nether regions. There are a number of Hypoallergenic and Latex Free condoms on the market. Durex make one called Avanti – which is latex free.

We know a few of our friends who have the same problem – tried every lube etc and still got irritation. Changed to a different condom and the problems either stopped or were dramatically reduced.

I have just looked on the web site and found the Pasante TLC superlube.
The product code is 6527 TLC 200 ml pump pot. Hope Im not breaking any site rules regarding product advertising, I certainly have no connection with the company.
It looks like good value at the online price. I hope it works for you, it is a very pleasant lube and is very easily washed away Im sure you will enjoy using it. A friend who is a nurse says it is also an excelent moisturiser for dry skin especially dry hands.

Okay, it’s nearing the end of Day One. The official Day One that is. I think it should have been yesterday.

For about a week I’ve had it hanging over me that I was going to give up smoking on a certain day. I may not have said how much I really didn’t want to, but I guess it has been implied.

Because I’ve been ill for the past couple of days (nothing serious, just a bad cold), I know I’m a bit run down generally, so Will was recalled from Banishment in Berkshire to undertake a mercy mission. He did his duty with zeal and returned to the South leaving a tidy kitchen and the washing up done and dusted. About 4pm I started getting an asthma attack. The attack lasted until 11pm by which time I was exhausted and weak. The inhalers didn’t work. I hadn’t had an attack in at least 12 months, and never on that scale.

No, I didn’t smoke after it. This morning I got up, sore with muscle tension and restricted breathing, to find the sun shining on my first official day as a non-smoker. The car was frosted up and I’d lost the ice scraper; my daughter found she’d forgotten her games kit on the way to school, so we went back for it; and my neighbour made me jump out of my skin and nearly set off another attack! I’ve also spent roughly the same amount of money on 96 Nicotinell lozenges as I would have done on 100 cigarettes – what a bum deal! Normally, getting back to the safety of my study, I’d have a coffee and fag and check out the swingers dating site. Had run out of coffee, had no cigarettes – and the f**king internet was on a go-slow and wouldn’t let me see the swinger dating site!

I thought I might look for a new job – hatchetperson in non-smoking enviroment.

It isn’t all doom and gloom. The sun did shine today, I had coffee with friends on the PA after the school run, my daughter earned a credit at school, Will was thinking about me and calling me. One smoke-free day. It had its moments, it had its lows.

When I look back on it and put it into that kind of perspective, I realise what a bloody normal day it was – except I didn’t smoke.